The London Thoughts
by Celia Ray
Summary: (by celia ray and rossrachmonchan) The gang goes to London for Ross's wedding, how will the problems they face effect their lives and what surprises will take control?...bad review please read and review RR MC season 4
1. Forever In My Heart

DISCLAIMER: CELIA RAY AND ROSSRACHMONCHAN DO NOT OWN THE SHOW IN ANYWEAY!

London Thoughts 

Phoebe was playing with one of Ross's ultra nerdy, ultra cool model airplanes;

"Varoom," she flew it up into the air and "BANG!" she knocked the plane face first down on Monica's coffee table.

She did this in a repeated motion for five times almost to the point of being obsessive compulsive,

"Varoom" her arm moved up and "Bang," she chipped off the paint, and then Rachel, Ross, Joey, Monica and Chandler come in. They are soaked, everything from Rachel's new leather boots, to Chandler's cowlicky thing in his hair

"Guys" Phoebe said, "I don't want you to go."

"Why not Pheebs?" Monica asks, moving her empty picture frame on the door, so it lined up with the lines on her floor.

"Do you want this to happen to you?" she says and animates the plane crash one more time;

"Varoom, BANG!"

"Phoebe, that is a model airplane my students gave me."

"Oh, I'm sorry Ross…your royal, scientist guy." Phoebe snaps. "But my psychic said you will die tragically in a plane crash." She does the plane crash over and over "Varoom, bang. Do you want this to happen? Varoom, bang!"

"Oh, Phoebe do know how rare those are?" Rachel said, all the while Ross is trying to rip the airplane out of her hand.

"Yeah well I'm sure everyone who died in those probably said that too at one point."

"Oh, what the chances are like one in a million that we'll die in a plane crash."

"Pheebs, psychics are for fun, they mean nothing."

"There's still that one, there's still that small chance." She starts to cry, "You're killing yourself, just like my mom did!"

Chandler, comes in from the bathroom and says;

"Hey, little ones, when does the flight leave?" he looks at Phoebe in her third trimester of triplets, "Hey Fatty!"

She furrows her brow and lifts her nose,

"Oh, go…" she yells at Chandler, but can't think of anything to say.

"You know, I dated a girl who died in a car accident last week." Joey said morbidly to try to fool Phoebe, to try to scare her.

She whispers, she sounds like some character from a horror movie, her green eyes are intense;

"Go ahead and kill yourselves."

And her voice increases in volume and she moves her head so fast that her long gold-blonde hair gets in her eyes, and she yells;

"GO AHEAD KILL YOURSELFS, YA' MORONS!" and she slams the door of Monica and if Mr. Heckles was still alive, Monica knew for a fact that he would be up at the door telling them that they were disturbing his cats or his obo practice and then when Monica said;

"You don't play the obo" or "You don't have any cats"

Mr. Heckles would always say

"I could play the obo." Or "I could have cats"

Monica and Rachel sometimes even oddly missed that.

Later that night-Monica's apartment

"Okay! Let's pack!" Monica was hyper on caffine from Central Perk.

"Where is Joey?" Monica says, glancing around the perfectly kept room.

"He saved himself," Phoebe groaned, stretched out on the couch in her lime green and yellow flowered dress, "He saved his soul!"

"Oh, well I was going leave him in charge of packing my lingerie and underwear but oh well. Ross? Do you want to take this one?"

"Monica, you're my sister…" Ross, wrinkles his nose.

"I know, you get my books."

"Oooh, yeah books." Ross looked through all her books, none of them had been science or paleontology as he had hoped, but _Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Wuthering Heights, _and _Gone With The Wind. _

He picked up _Gone With The Wind, _and paged through it, at first it bored him to death, but then he found Scarlett O'Hara to be such a gripping character that he kept reading. Only to be interrupted by Phoebe's two blasted songs that she was banging away at on her guitar;

Em, insert lyrics here lol

By the end his ears were ringing and Phoebe looked very angry, she had been able to lie her way out of packing because Monica did not want her to hurt herself or the babies.

Ross read the sweet tragic adventures of Scarlett, O'Hara, how she lost Tara to the Yankees, how Ashley left her for Melly, how her mother died, how her father died, how she really loved Rhett but he did not love her, and when her daughter died. And then when Rhett left her at the end; that opened the floodgates, Ross started, he cried so hard. His upper lip quivered and he grabbed Monica's kleenex box.

"I said pack the books, not read the books." Monica whispered to Rachel.

"Yeah, really, he's no help."

"You weren't either Rachel."

"I was so…" she whines, "I put the nail polish in the little baggy."

"Big help." Monica said.

"He's so cute, crying, I cried at that movie." Rachel started to whimper. "He's so sweet."

Monica looked at her, her blue eyes icy, yet giving a knowing look.

"No," Rachel says, "I don't."

"Rachel."

"He's getting married we're over."

"Rachel." Monica reinforces.

"I don't love Ross." And she stops and chokes on her own words.

Chandler's office-same time that night 

"Chandler," Joey says looking at the name on the office door, "You're not Michael Wong."

"Charles still hasn't changed the name on my door. And I've worked here for three years."

"What are we here for?" Joey asks, and looks at the W.E.N.U.S. on Chandler's desk.

"We're trying to escape Monica's psycho packing frenzy, because that just might be what kills us."

"Who told you that?" Joey's brown eyes grew wide with horror.

"Phoebe."

"Oh, yeah, Pheebs. The reason I can't eat meat." He smiles, and then frowns. "Chandler, can I use your internet."

"Okay," Chandler says, "But no porn, Charles hacks into all of our accounts and looks at our internet history."

"Okay."

"Really? I never thought you did anything on the internet but look up porn."

"No, I'm going to look up hot girls I could hook up with in London," he grins, his "how ya' doing" grin and takes a seat.

"Oh, while you do that I will look up the numbers on the W.E.N.U.S" Joey chuckles at the sound of W.E.N.U.S.

"Weekly estimated net usage systems." Chandler says.

"Oh, I know, it's just W.E.N.U.S."

"Look at that ladies and gentleman, our Joey, all grown up,"

"But I am grown up, only grown ups can use Chandler was averaging the numbers on the W.E.N.U.S. Joey was looking up girls;

He said he was a man searching for a woman between the ages of 20 and 24, in the London area; he got three results;

Cira Parklen, was a beautiful blonde, with wavy hair that fell just past her shoulders and light blue eyes. She had high, angular cheekbones, and a small pert little nose; her profile said;

Loves thongs, lingerie, and watching dirty movies.

5'9", 109 lbs.

Joey's grin grew wider and wider until he got to the very last one;

Is looking for a serious relationship.

That ruled out Cira Parklen.

The next one was Katherine Lorabede; a fairly attractive girl with curly black hair and that cut just above her shoulders and she had dominant, flashy blue eyes; it wasn't her appearance that made Joey rule her out, it was the fact she loved to read John Steinbeck and the fact she was an English teacher. Joey thought teachers and professors i.e. Ross were all boring.

But then there was Felicity Walthem, which was also Emily's last name. Felicity was pretty, but a little too pale. Her huge dark eyes dominated her face, and her brunette hair framed her square face, in lots of little short, wispy curls. But her profile made her perfect for Joey. Three of the things on her profile were;

No falling in love with me.

Just one, short, wild, crazy, fling.

Just the good stuff.

Joey chatted with her online a little bit; and he learned she loved romantic comedies, especially _Sleepless In Seattle _and she liked sports and cold pizzas. He smiled, could there be a person more perfect for me? He thought, they arranged to meet at the London Marriot their second night in London.

"Looks like you're going to have to get your own room," Joey said to Chandler.

"And why?"

"Because I hooked up with someone."

"Who?"

"Felicity Walthem."

"Isn't she Emily's cousin?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, that's how I know she's not a rapist or a killer."

"Oh, Joe, you've hit an entire family to sleep with."

"Yeah, you bet I did." Joey grins, proud of himself.

Later that night-Monica's apartment. 

Rachel hears a knock on the door, she is in her night gown, and her hair is uncombed. It is a repeated knock on the door. And Rachel goes to open it. Ross falls flat head first onto her bare feet;

"Don't you know not to lean on the door?"

"Yeah, well."

"That hurt,"

"Do you want some painkillers?"

"No, I will be all right, is Monica here?"

"No, she went to buy labels for all the suitcases. Why?"

"I wanted her help on this video camera, figuring it out how to use it."

"She'll be back in a few minutes Ross if you want to just stay here."

"Okay."

"Okay, I have to replace the flowers in Mon's vase,"

Rachel took out some dead roses and baby breath from Monica's crystal vase, and her eyes are fixed on Ross as he struggles to set up the video camera so she would be able to see the wedding, Ross, though it was not noticeable had tears in his eyes;

Rachel threw the roses and baby's breath in the trash and went over to Ross;

"Can I help you with that?" she asks.

He wipes his tears on his "I heart Fossils" nightshirt and says;

"I wish I didn't have to do this."

"Oh, Ross, go read your science papers, I can do this." She reaches toward the old fashioned video camera.

"Rachel, I don't mean it like that. I mean I want you to come."

"Ross, I have to work, I'm already at ends with my boss."

"Oh, come on Rach," he touches her shoulder briefly and fiddles with the end of her sandy hair, "I mean it's me, it's my wedding."

"Ross, I can't."

"Why not, I'll even make the excuses for your boss."

"No, Ross it's weird."

"Why, Rach? You're one of my best friends."

"It's weird because of 'us'"

"Rach, there is no 'us'. We are over."

"Ross,"

"I'm marrying Emily."

"I know, but that doesn't mean…" she trails off, her voice hitching.

"Rach, it does mean we are over. We are over. I love you as a friend, but I am in love with Emily, can't you just accept this."

"Yeah, congratulations Ross. I think Emily is great." She was lying, she was jealous of Emily. She knew that no one, not in a million years, could love Ross more than she did. She hugged him, and he sniffed her coconut smelling hair and kissed her on the cheek. She kisses him ever so lightly on the lips, and they let go of each other and he pulled her back in one more time. And they don't let go for a full minute.

The next morning-the cab ride to the airport 

"Oh, my god." Monica screams. "We are going to be so late!"

Traffic is backed up all the way down fifth avenue. "Oh my god! Cab driver, drive around the traffic! How hard is it to drive around the traffic."

Ross felt bad for the cabdriver, he was young, no more than twenty five, with dark skin, and round eyes, he had a nice smile flawed only by braces.

Chandler, says to Monica, sarcastically

"How? How do you drive through traffic?"

"Okay, calm down, Monica you're not going to miss your flight," she takes a deep breath, "But we have to go through customs, and there might be a huge line," her eyes widen, "Oh god, we have to go through customs! There might be a huge line! Speed up!"

"Calm down woman!"

The taxi driver looks around and misses the fact that the light has turned green, and a hoard of cars drive in front of the cab, "Now you got us back to the end of the line again!" Monica yells.

"We're going to tip you twice as much for putting up with the likes of Monica aren't we?" Chandler says to the cab driver, Howard. He laughs and Ross says;

"I'll be the one to tip you extra, remind me of that?" and then he pauses thoughtfully and says;

"Hey, I lived with her for sixteen years and no one ever paid me." And he watches his little sister yelling and screaming and wondered what his parents would say, probably nothing. He wondered if they even cared enough about her.

The Airport-An hour later

Monica has always hated customs. The line was huge, and there was a family of ten screaming little children in front of her. She thought they were cute, four little blonde curls, in overalls, and six boys, three blonde and four brunette; Chandler coward behind Monica, Chandler was apprehensive around children; they were running around with coloring books and teddy bears chasing after each other.

Joey went first, his bags went through with no problems, but he couldn't stop staring at one of the security guards. She was about five foot, six inches with curly red hair pulled up into a lose bun, and gray eyes that were too small for her square face.

"How you doing?" Joey smiles seductively.

"I'm really quite busy." She snarls.

"Oh, so," he tilts his head, "Are you on one of the flights."

"I don't like men." she says.

"Oh score." Chandler gives Joey a thumbs up and says sarcastically.

"Do you want a pillow for the flight or a punch in the face? And remember I can have you thrown off the flight if you flirt with any member of the crew."

"Don't be mean."

"This is a first for him." Chandler says to the woman, who's name tag reads Kelly.

"Chandler," Joey whines, tears filming in his eyes, "A lady rejected me."

"So sad, Joey, so sad. Now you know how it feels to be me."

"But Chandler," he puts his head down on Chandler's shoulder and grabs his hand.

"A little too close Joe,"

"We're just holding hands now, aren't we."

"Uh-huh, I think we should let go."

"Yeah."

They drop each other's hands quickly and then shake their hands off. Chandler goes through security with no problem, same with Ross until they find his dinosaur "toys";

"Excuse me sir, are these weapons?" a large, burley security guard says;

"No, they're my dino friends."

"I'm afraid you cannot take these on the plane sir."

"Why?"

"They have sharp teeth, which can hurt on of the passengers,"

"Oh, Thomas the T-Rex, and Mallula from the Mesisoic era." Ross starts to cry a little they were his dino friends.

And then went Monica, she was proud and confident and flips her dark hair off her face, and a blonde security guard, one that Joey might flirt with if he wasn't still heart broken after being rejected by Kelly, started ripping off her belt and her locket, and her shoes.

"My, belt, my Nana's locket, it's been in my family for like 70 years, My earrings, ohhh and my ankle bracelet that I borrowed from Rachel, that was a close one!"

"All set Miss, go ahead through now."

She does, and her heart almost stops when the alarm goes off.

"This alarm need fixed."

"Ma'am, step over to side."

Monica looks up and she sees a security guard who is the spitting image of Richard. He begins to feel her up, and moves his strong hands around her pockets.

"Joey, I'm strangely aroused" she whispers.

Joey gives her two thumbs up.

Kelly goes through Monica's bag and pulls out her fuzzy pink diary and opens to the most reason date;

"Monica's true confessions

I want a boyfriend and I miss Richard...still, so I wonder what it would be like to sleep with Joey…" Joey grins, and says

"Do you want a Joey coupon for love?"

"Stop reading, stop reading!" Monica waves her finger at them.

Kelly continues; "… no commitment, just a one night stand a fling, well wait, I would only sleep with JOEY if I was DRUNK"

Joey lays his head down on the back of the chair and says;

"Hah, Chandler Bing that is only two women out of the world."

Kelly takes Monica back into "the room" and tears through all her perfectly folded clothes arranged in her suitcase alphabetically by color and occasion. She asks her to take off her coat and searches her inside pockets, and finds her change purse. She digs through it as if she still thought Monica was a terrorist.

"You'd have to be real drunk." Kelly says.

"I know," Monica rolls her eyes and sits down;

At the gate terminal 

Ross was bored without his dino friends and Chandler, Joey, and Monica so he looked through his bag and aside from a few pieces of lint, he also found an envelope. He gently picked up the envelope and read it, it said;

To: Ross

From: Rachel

He didn't think it would happen but as he opened up the fat envelope tears welled up in his eyes; he wiped them off with the sleeve of his _I heart fossils_ T-shirt and tried not to make a big deal about it; his ears rang with all their songs, _With Or Without You, Everybody Hurts, The Way You Look tonight. _

In the back of the envelope he found a dog eared picture of him and Rachel together. It was taken five years back, when they first started going out. Rachel's hair was pulled up in a loose bun and Ross had put a red rose in it, she was dressed in a sexy purple dress. They were holding hands and the two of them looked like they fit together, two pieces of a puzzle completing each other. He also had placed a movie stub from their first date in there, the movie was called _Infinity. _And we opened the letter, slowly carefully not to rip or smudge it with his coffee from the airport coffee shop. This letter was so important to him.

He read through it.

_I will get back with you if you accept full responsibility for what you had done. You were unfaithful to me. We were not on a break. _

He hated that part, but then he read the last line.

_I want to be back with you Ross, because I love you so much. You will always, no matter what have a place in my heart. _

_Love Rach. _

And he folded up the letter, hoping to put away the past. And make room for Emily.

Five minutes later-by the flight listings 

Ross looked at the flight listings;

Paris…on time

Detroit…on time

London England…scheduled time; 10:15, estimated arrival time; 2:20

Ross narrowed his eyes at the screen;

"Monica, does that say what I think it says?"

"Yeah, I think that means our flight is delayed." She says, nonchalantly.

"Mon, I know, I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS" he yells in her face, as if he was trying to deafen her.

"Wow, Ross, it's just a wedding, it's just Emily" and then she looks down at the floor and says

9


	2. Rachel's Journals

THE LONDON THOUGHTS CHAPTER 2 

**The plane- with Joey, chandler, and Janice- NOT ROSS AND MONICA **

Janice leaned on Chandler's arm and carried his one small suitcase.

"Janice let go. Please."

"Oh, someone's wearing grumpy pants." And she laughed her infamous laugh.

"Joey why didn't we kick Janice out the plane window, on our way in?"

"Because there was no widows on our way in Bing-a-ling." Joey mocks.

" Well, then why didn't we put her in my suitcase, slam the top shut," he moves his hand forward, "And store her securely in an upright position in the overheard baggage compartments."

" Cause we could go to jail, now say something into my video camera"

" You want me to say something to the camera! You want me to say something to the camera! Okay...THIS TRIP SUCKS!"

"Why?"

Joey was confused, why was chandler acting like this? Why did he say a trip to Europe sucked? Joey was all so slow and stupid at times like these for example:

When Monica, Phoebe, and Joey found out that Ross was the father of her baby, because of the sweater in season 8 TOW The Red Sweater, Joey took a minute to realize and then freaked out. OR when Monica and chandler came home with twins, instead of one in the finale, Joey said stupidly and dimly "so what's the BIG surprise?"

Joey was in a good mood a little earlier, but now even more depressed then he was before. Chandler responded still as mad as ever.

"Because, you wont help me push Janice down the escalator in the mall! Or any thing! Mr. Goodie Two Shoes!"

Chandler was feeling so, well you could go as far as totally pissed off, because of course Janice, he did not want to be on this plane going to someone's wedding, he wanted to be home watching Baywatch with the chick and duck, and NOT happy Mr. Goodie Two shoes! He also didn't want to be going to the wedding because he felt unloved he didn't have great family, or a girlfriend, his life was shit. Chandler was going into detail in his brain about all the reasons he was not happy, he was being negative now. First, he was the one to pay Joey and his rent for the apartment every month, cause he was the one with a reasonable, steady job with a steady income. Chandler also was a "secret" smoker and wanted to quit, but didn't know how, he needed help and had to get it soon. Chandler did not have a girlfriend, to love and to be loved back, or to have pleasure with, to sleep with and cuddle with, wait. The girls in the gang were all single; whom will he date out of them? Rachel? No she had the whole Ross problem, Phoebe, no she was pregnant, and Monica? Also chandler parents were a big part of the reason his life is crap.

Chandler 's parents ruined his life. Does Joey know how it feels to see his mother and his Father kissing the same man? Every time Chandler's father showed up to his swim meets he dressed up as a brand new Hollywood starlet, sometimes Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly or Raquel Welsh. Monica always used to say that at least Chandler's father showed up at events that were important to his son; Monica's parents didn't even seem to care. Chandler didn't feel too lucky. The worst one of all was when Chandler watched his parents, whom he thought would be in love forever, and it hurt horribly to watch his father hurt his mother and fall out of her arms, into the arms of the Turkish house boy. Now Joey, chandler and…Janice were looking at their tickets and getting g t their seats, once they know where their seats are, Janice whines

"Janice wants the window seat."

"No, but so does Joey." Joey whines back

"NO Janice wants the window seat." Janice whines again

"But so does Joey." Joey argues starting to get upset

Chandler screams "You two, Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! Chandler then throws the video camera on the floor down the aisle, and it smashes, and breaks, poor Joey

"Chandler why have you been a jerk lately? That was the last gift that anyone was ever going to give me!"

"What Joe?" Chandler responses confused, sorry and quickly

"You heard Phoebe we're all going to die in the plane crash!" Joey then spasses and yells in panic "Oh my gosh. I forgot to say goodbye to Phoebe. And Rachel. I'm never going to see them again. And my last kiss was the worst kiss I ever had."

"Yeah, mine wasn't too great either, anyway…."

Janice leaned over chandler face, grabbed his cheeks in the palms of her hands, and kissed chandler with all the passion she had, the truth was she missed him, and was lately turned on by anger and loneliness. She wanted a fling, just a fling with chandler.

" Okay I don't know what just happened, but what the hell was that?"

THE HOTEL- Ross and Monica checking in 

"I paid for the room, and I expect the room, clean, with no dust in sight and no lipstick on the glasses"

After the clerk replies in their perfectly toned way "I'm sorry your rooms are not quite ready yet. Check in time guaranteed around three o'clock."

Ross whispers the question "Before we go does the hotel allow model dinosaurs"

Monica says rudely and kind of shouting "God, Ross, move on Mallula from the Mesozoic Era and Thomas the T Rex are gone. Get on with your life."

The clerk again replies confused and in their snobby perfect tone "That is kind of odd, but yes."

Ross whispers to Monica in a little boyish way "But I can't move on."

**THE TEA ROOM- THE HOTEL- MONICA AND ROSS ARE SITTING THERE **

Ross says, lazily and fast "So to start up a conversation with you Monica, I found some of Rachel's things in my bag earlier"

Monica replied interested, curious and a little shocked that Ross was talking about Rachel of all people "Oh, and?"

Ross said, "It was just some letters and stuff, a couple pictures from back when we were dating."

Monica replies with all seriousness " Ross, do you still love Rachel."

"No, I love Rach," corrects him self-fast, "I love Emily. I love her with all my heart"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I love Emily" Ross then Over pronounces every syllable of her Emily's name.

"I love, E-M-I-L-Y, Emily! Okay Monica?" he says forcedly.

"Okay Ross calm down! I just want to make sure you know what you're doing Ross."

Monica says this with a sister charm "I am your sister, I don't want you to get hurt, or god forbid divorced again."

"I mean, its Rachel. That's my past, Emily is the present. I know how to move on," Ross straightens up and refuses to admit that he is lying to himself.

THE PLANE- JOEY, CHANDLER, JANICE ARE SITTING THERE 

Janice yells and again laughs loudly say, "Wasn't I the best kiss ever? HAHAHAHAHA."

Chandler should say "Janice, Janice, hello Janice."

Janice screams and laughs "Chan and Jan forever HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, just as it should be"

And Joey whispers between clenched teeth "Break up with her now, NOW!"

Chandler should says with control, dignity and courage, and bravery against Janice

"Okay Joe for once I'll do what you want me to do, Janice we are NOT together, You make me want to rip my arm off and throw it at you. You are not even supposed to be here"

When Janice heard what chandler said it took her a minute to understand when she finally got it her heart broke in 2 and then into another 2 million pieces, was it over? Janice sat back and decided to look out the window, because she won the argument with Joey. While she was looking out she remembered them as a couple, memories flashed through her mind. Janice had always thought her and chandler were soul mates, but now that she thought about it, it didn't seem like they were as a reality, they didn't fit, they didn't work, now someone like Monica and chandler would, the memories came up one by one. The memories that went through her head, mind soul and heart were:

_Chandler remembered meeting Janice. He was in a cab on one of those nights that no one in their right mind would be out in New York City, raining, not a star in the sky. He was in a cab, which he expected to be unlicensed cab driver, but he was so tired he didn't even care. Monica had him up all night shopping for the Christmas party. All of a sudden there was a sudden jerk, as the driver stopped the car. _

"_ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!" a shrew like, high-pitched voice said. _

"_Got some woman in front of you." _

"_Sounds more like a she-man." _

"_Sir, would you go help her." _

"_Yeah." _

_He stepped out of the cab and there lying in the road was a beautiful woman. He helped her up and gathered all her Bloomingdales and Macy's bags, and grabbed her hands and lifted her to her feet. _

_He looked at her. She had amber, wide brown eyes, and long, thick curly dark hair plastered to her forehead and weighted down by the rain. Her square face was covered in scrapes and blood from her fall on the road. So were her pale white hands. _

_He wasn't sure how long he stared at her. The moonlight shone over the buildings onto her face, and she burst out into screechy, infectious laughter. And at the time, Chandler loved that sound. _

"_Chandler Bing," he said, "My name is…Chandler Bing. What…" he stutters, splashing in the puddle. "Is yours?" _

"_Janice Littman, hahahahaha" _

_Chandler looked back at this memory as the day from Hell now. And Janice looked back it with Chandler as her soul mate. She thought they would be in love for the rest of their lives._

THE TEA ROOM- AT THE HOTEL- Ross and Monica are sitting there 

Monica asked slowly an quietly "About the letters and stuff, is it okay if I read them. I mean if you don't mind."

Ross replied quickly and actually quite loudly "no it's none of your business!"

Then Monica challenger her brother to a fair question, that actually had a lot of meaning and sense, and hurt, she knew she was right "Why? I thought you and Rachel were in the past and special things like "the prom video" don't matter anymore?"

Ross says slowly, gloomily and disappointed a bit "Yeah, just don't read them in front of me, it was kind of hard, reading things from Rachel."

"Thanks".

Ross then takes back what he said quickly and naturally not to cause problems by correcting himself: "It's not hard. It is just weird."

Monica whispers and disagrees under her breath "Yeah right, Liar."

**MONICA'S APARTMENT- Phoebe and Rachel are there**

Phoebe decided to break this sad silence that both her and Rachel shared Rachel was now wiping up her tears with a Kleenex

"You love Ross! Yes I knew it all along! The **lobsters **are going to be back together before we know it!"

Rachel protests knowing that phoebe was right all along, and Rachel thinks its right " What? No! Like you said before I'm not going to ruin the best day of his life! And I don't love Ross!"

Phoebe reply's dumbly and obviously "Yes you do, you just said it."

"I don't, I do...I actually love Ross."

"See" phoebe replied again very right and matter of factly, see did know it all along even through her hormones

Rachel says " But still phoebe I'm not going to RUIN the BEST day of Ross's life"

Phoebe was now mad, because of her hormones she got up and yelled as she walked like she did a few days earlier "FINE, RUIN THE BEST DAY OF HIS LIFE! AND HE'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!" and she slammed the door as hard as ever, once phoebe had left the room Rachel jumped up fro joy and screamed at the top of her lungs

"You are so right Phoebes. You know what you are totally brilliant. I totally should ruin the best day of his life. He should be with me, I am his lobster." And she sat down again, confused about what to do.

THAT NIGHT- RACHEL IN HER BED- with her journal 

**Dear journal, **

**I don't think its fair; **

**I love Ross. **

**Ross loves Emily; well I think Ross loves Emily I hope not **

**So one of us gets hurt no matter what. That is the problem with falling in love; someone gets pushed away. And here is a little secret, I have had my bags packed and ready to go (all six of them) since Monica and Ross, and Joey and Chandler left for London, with something very special for Ross in my bag from Tiffany's.**

THE WOMEN"S WASHROOM- IN THE BATHROOM STALL- MONICA 

Monica read the beginning of the letter and sighs "oh this is so sweet" and then whispers to herself again "My brother is such an idiot for letting her go. Oh, idiot! Lets see what this is all about"

Monica read the letter from the beach and one by one tears fell on to the first page, the second, the third front and back until the 18th. Monica thought out loud wow they have a long, complicated, and very loving relationship. As she read she found out things about them that she didn't really want to know.

Monica cries while she talks "This is so messed up. Why, is he marrying that British Chippie Emily? Ross and Rachel go back more than a month,"

Then she flips through the pages and get to a part about their sex lives, so not needed information! And then she got to the end it was so sweet, but kind of pushy.

Monica remembered the fighting, she remembered how hurt Rachel was, and seeing the tears well up in her bright blue eyes;

-Just a waitress

-Kind of ditzy

- Spoiled

-Chubby ankles!

Those were Rachel's cons on Ross's list, but Monica knew it took Ross all day to think of these. He loved Rachel, always had. Only an idiot, like Joey, couldn't see the fact that he loved her. No, even Joey knew that.

"How would you like it if someone took everything you don't like about yourself, wrote it down and threw it back into your face?" Rachel screeched.

"Did you look at what it said under Julie's cons?"

"She's not Rachem. Is that your stupid paleontology crap that I'm too stupid to know."

"No, that is supposed to be an L, that idiot, Chandler was supposed to type and "L". It's supposed to say 'She is not Rachel."

But by then she had already slammed the big blue door in his face.

Later that night Ross had called up Monica to put on the radio.

"This song is dedicated from Ross to Rachel. Rachel, Ross is very sorry for what he has done and he hopes you will forgive him."

_With Or Without _by U2 came on the radio;

See the stone set in your eyes

See the thorn twist in your side

I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate

On a bed of nails she makes me wait

And I wait without you

With or without you

With or without you

Sometimes Monica still heard Ross singing that song and he still knew all the lyrics by heart.

Wow Monica thought, she hadn't thought of Ross and Rachel for a long time and now she that she was reading the letter, the long letter, and she found out that Ross and Rachel while they were dating had done it 298 times! And some other stuff she won't even mention. And Monica got to the end of the letter, and she was no longer grossed out. "You are Forever in my heart, Rachel." that was so beautiful, she wondered what happened. Did they ever stop loving each other? Or is it really true that two people, who were once so much in love, could stop loving each other. Monica was unsure when she saw the last sentence "does this sound like something you can do, does it?" Monica was now crying 5 million rivers into the toilet so the bathroom wouldn't flood. Monica couldn't figure out this love thing and she was never very good at it, but what she knew was Ross and Rachel belonged together, and she had to do something, but she couldn't and didn't have permission, so she would have to leave it up to Ross and Rachel to deal with themselves. She folded up the 18-page letter front and back and put it in her pocket. Was this what Ross and Rachel wanted, each other or not?

THAT SAME NIGHT- RACHEL IN BED WITH HER JOURNAL 

Rachel was sitting in her bed crying, she was heartbroken, more then Janice was earlier, this was Ross, not just a fun, fling of a relationship. She was sitting in her bed with her pillows propped up behind her back, she was flipping through her journal lazily from beginning to end, when she decided to read few of the entries, she never had, the first one she read was the first entry of the year 1997. It read:

**DEAR JOURNAL, AUGUST 1, 1997**

Ross and I had a huge fight about the "letter" I wrote and the situation we went through with the girl from the copy place, it was horrible I can't even explain it, we just consummated our relationship (sex) for the first time since we had been back together, which probably wasn't the best idea. I made the wrong turn and choice to mention the letter during such the wrong, romantic time. The truth is I feel that the letter was so inappropriate and I asked too much of Ross, it wasn't his entire fault. A relationship takes two people, not just the man and if you asked me yourself, I would say I'm more responsible for why our relationship took so many bashings, and bad moments. I miss Ross, I still love Ross no matter what and I want him back in my life, I don't ever want to lose him.

**DEAR JOURNAL,**

I just found out that I set Ross up with Emily, the British girl, I was supposed to take her to the opera, but Ross did for me so I could go out with STUPID JOSHUA and he didn't even show! And the way I found out is Ross called from Vermont, at a bed and breakfast, he had to quickly leave though, because there was a deer eating fruit from the orchard. I'm sorry if it's wrong to feel this way but I feel that if Ross dates this Emily, British girl, I'll lose him in my life forever. I miss him and always will.

**DEAR JOURNAL,**

Ironic, huh? I always thought Ross would ask me to marry him first. He didn't rescue Emily from being dateless at the prom. He didn't give his television gig up to take Emily to the hospital with a hurt rib.

I don't want Ross do know how much this hurts me. I know he can't help whom he fell in love with. But why the British lady, why is she his one true love? Why not me?

Rachel Brokenhearted Karen Green

**DEAR JOURNAL,**

I don't think I'm doing a bad thing. Everyone says I am, especially Pheebs, but I love Ross. I think I owe him that much. He needs to know that I love him. Right now I am wearing the _Frankie Says Relax T-shirt. _I remember the time we fought over who got to keep it, he won and then later the next day, he gave it back to me.

I'm kind of scared of ruining everything I've ever had with Ross. There is a possibility that he doesn't love me anymore. That his entire heart is attached to Emily. And Emily is the woman that will have the children I want to have with him. That he will move to London and live happily ever after with her; if you ask me, do I want Ross to be happy, I say yes, but only with me. I know that sounds horrible and cruel and selfish, but I think we fit together.

**Sincerely **

**Rachel, lovesick Karen Green**

**THE HOTEL- JOEY CHANDLER AND JANICE CHECKING IN**

Janice stood looking at Chandler; Joey was trying not to laugh. Janice was broken hearted and tired. Chandler felt guilty, but satisfied,

Janice moved over to the concierge desk and asked

"Excuse me" the concierge didn't look up from what he was doing, he was really into sorting out the receipts, he seemed like he hated his job and didn't care about anyone or anything, but money

"Excuse could I ask you something?" Janice repeated surprisingly without laughing, the man still didn't look up, until his female boss came to inspect what he was doing she spoke.

"Take care of the customers, or ill make u go eat lunch with me and my mother and law,"

"Fine, fire me I wont spend time with your elderly family"

" Go get out of this prestigious hotel, rat scum, now how may I help you mame?"

"I want a hotel faraway from Bing. Now."

He looked up all the hotels and say "I'm sorry ma'am we're all book, entire city"

Janice demands, "I need a room"

The concierge says, "You'll have to stay with the, donut eater and the Bing."

Janice gives Chandler a nasty look and Chandler mimics her nervously "HEheheheHEHEHeHEHe"

**THE HOTEL-TEAROOM- Monica and Ross are still sitting there**

Monica came out of the Women's Washroom slowly, sadly and quietly like she did in TOW Joey moves out in season 2 when she saw her parents Jack and Judy going at it on the bathroom floor, there was a huge silence, and they looked back and forth at each other, back and forth back and forth, until...

Monica speaks out these words "Ross, does Rachel know u keep those letters with u at all times?"

Ross says "No, and she isn't going to. And neither is Emily,"

Monica asks, "What are you doing?"

Ross is silent

Monica again says, and yells this time "why don't' you want Rachel to know, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"


End file.
